[At age 19] I must, must, must attain worldly success to a real degree. It seems inconsistent I know to wish for such things and yet have your trust in God. However, I believe that He meant us all to achieve as much happiness on this earth as we could. My temperament could never be happy, nor give happiness to those who must one day be dependent on me and my friends, if abject poverty were to be my lot. It has been the fate of both sides of the family.